NewburyportNews.com, Newburyport, MA

PortWatch

July 3, 2014

Friendships ... lost and found

“Nobody sees a flower really; it is so small. We haven’t time, and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time.”

Georgia O’Keeffe’s words remind us of the importance of spending time with our friends. But, because of fast-paced and busy lives, some friendships are sadly put on the back burner, making them not a high priority. You simply have no time, no energy to give them, especially if you have a close family around you, relatives who fulfill the role of friends.

This may not be the case for you if you are someone who has always taken the time to stay connected with your old friends, and you still stay open to making new ones. Because friendships are so important to you, you cultivate and maintain your alliances. Your good friends become like “family,” perhaps the close sister or brother you never had.

Upon examination, the truth is most of those you call “friends” are, in fact, merely acquaintances. They may be those with whom you work or engage at the gym or at social events. You like each other well enough, but there is no deep and sustained attachment. While it is good to have these loose connections helping you feel a part of a social network, casual relationships may not feed the soul, like only “a best friend” can do.

A description of a best friend relationship might include:

Longevity ... you knew each other, “back then.” You have important history together.

You can say most anything to them, and they won’t be offended or defensive. You can easily forgive each other for small infractions.

There is total trust; you confide in each other and keep secrets.

Even though you may have gone in very different directions, there remains that thread of continuity you both so cherish. You may not see each other all that often, but you know with a single phone call, you can pick up just where you left off.

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