NewburyportNews.com, Newburyport, MA

PortWatch

April 30, 2014

Squirrel strategies

Tips, serious and not, for protecting birdfeeders

(Continued)

After hearing similar stories from other frustrated bird lovers, Adler decided to pen the first edition of his diatribe against the rodents. Also included in the book are feeder ratings, ways to attract certain birds and 101 “cunning stratagems” to keep squirrels at bay. Some are practical. Most are hilariously ludicrous.

Some of the more entertaining:

Dig a moat around your feeder. Fill it with piranha.

Encourage your neighbors — and what the heck, your local government — to use drones to monitor and, ahem, deal with squirrels.

Buy a squirrel costume. Parade around your yard wearing it. Squirrels can’t figure out what in the world is going on, and it drives them away.

Buy some lasers and set up a hologram show in your yard. Make holograms of cats and hunters.

Cry. Maybe the squirrel will feel sorry for you and go away.

Text Only | Photo Reprints

Special Features
AP Video
US Ready to Slap New Sanctions on Russia Kerry: Not Worried About Israeli Criticism Boater Rescued From Edge of Kentucky Dam Girl Struck by Plane on Florida Beach Dies Rodents Rampant in Gardens Around Louvre House to Vote on Slimmed-down Bill for Border Looming Demand Could Undercut Flight Safety Raw: 2 Shells Hit Fuel Tank at Gaza Power Plant Raw: Massive Explosions From Airstrikes in Gaza Giant Ketchup Bottle Water Tower Up for Sale Easier Nuclear Construction Promises Fall Short Kerry: Humanitarian Cease-fire Efforts Continue Raw: Corruption Trial Begins for Former Va Gov. The Carbon Trap: US Exports Global Warming Traditional African Dishes Teach Healthy Eating
Special Features