On Christmas morning, Kelly Gray serves up a birthday cake. Needless to say, it is a tradition her kids love.
But to Gray, the treat also sends a bigger message.
"We wish Jesus a happy birthday," she said. "It's a little over the top, a little silly, but something they remember. It's in your face, but that's what it's all about — it's his birthday."
Gray recently shared her story during an informal gathering arranged by Pam Mosesian, another local mom, to exchange ideas on how to bring faith back into the Christmas holiday. Mosesian, who said she is also "big into Santa," discovered in conversations with friends that many were searching for ways to convey the real meaning of Christmas to their children in the midst of letters to Santa and a barrage of toy catalogs.
She decided to schedule a meeting at Central Congregational Church, where she teaches Sunday school, and invite members of the Newburyport Mothers Club, as well as families at large.
So many ideas were floated at the meeting that the Rev. Chris Ney, a father of two, said he was in awe.
"It's an issue that gets preached about, but not often talked about in small groups like this," he said. "Taking Christmas beyond commercialism and consumerism is an important topic to me, to provide concrete examples of what families can do."
One of the most popular traditions in the Mosesian household is the daily ritual of opening the Advent calendar. To make the occasion even more special, Mosesian marches into the living room with the calendar, singing a Christmas carol. Then, her two boys, Grant, 8, and Mark, 5, take turns opening the small wooden doors.
Although Mosesian said they do appreciate the two pieces of chocolate inside, they also like pulling out a tiny slip of paper and answering the question written on it. The questions can be anything from "Where was Jesus born?" to "Name a friend you are thankful for and why?"
Many ideas center on the message of gratitude. Gray introduced the topic to her children a few years ago by having them count different items in the home for each day of Advent. For each item, they put a nickel in a jar. Mosesian said the children can also write notes of thanks and stick them into a homemade Christmas star or make their own "thankful snowflakes" out of doilies, tape them to a window and attach a thank-you message to Jesus.
Turning the Christmas season into one of gratitude and good deeds is especially important to Mosesian. When she was growing up, her mother worked hard to make ends meet, she said. The family sometimes had to stay at motels along the Seacoast. They had no Christmas traditions, and Christmas gifts came at the charity of the Salisbury Fire Department.
"I've an amazing mother, and I consider it a blessing," Mosesian said of her childhood. "Here, I'm as an adult truly knowing what it's like for the families living on the beach in Salisbury and Seabrook. I want to teach my children to give back."
When she first posted the idea of an informal gathering on the forum of the Newburyport Mothers Club, the response was immediate. More than a dozen families that could not make the meeting asked her to email a summary of her notes.
Others shared their traditions and ideas. One mom suggested letting the children pick out a gift for someone less fortunate from the Samaritan's Purse Gift Catalog. Another described placing a manger by the Christmas tree and having the children describe a good deed that they did during the day. For each deed, they would put some hay in the manger, and by the time Christmas arrived, a soft bed would await baby Jesus.
Even very young children can take part, said Ellen Metsker, who made a paper chain when her daughter was just 1. Every day, her daughter would pull one off and get a small task: give daddy an extra kiss, make a picture for grandma.
Mosesian added to the list with a compilation of ideas: Read the Christmas story from Luke 2, buy a nativity set for another family and leave one figurine at a time on the doorstep as a surprise each day, attend a Christmas Eve service, give the children an opportunity to earn money for the Salvation Army kettle.
Inspired by all the suggestions, she said her family will add a new tradition this year, acting out the nativity scene the night before Christmas.
"It's only four of us, but we can do it," she said. "It'll be fun."
But her oldest son also cannot wait for Santa's visit. Starting nearly a year ago, he began writing letters addressed to the North Pole. Mosesian said he wrote so many that she finally had to intervene. A response from Santa's Ministry of Communications informed him that Santa was on a long vacation and would not answer any letters until the election of reindeer in the fall.
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