You must wonder how and why I came up with a title such as this, and I really don’t blame you. But if you are in the senior category of your life, like I am, this title will have some meaning. Let me explain the best way I know how, OK?
Just the other day I happened to be a passenger in a 2013 vehicle and attempted to find the handle to close the door. After a thorough search, I had to ask the owner if the car had a door handle, or did I have to learn to use a computer to successfully close the door. Having got through that crisis, I looked at the dashboard, and it actually frightened me, with bells and whistles keeping me awake.
Having got through that, I went grocery shopping and attempted to read the price tags on products. The prices are sized for perfect vision. Upon leaving the store, sure enough, I couldn’t remember where I parked my truck and walked up and down, until a concerned shopper, realizing my plight, told me to press the panic button on my key. Having done so, I had to have help in shutting it off.
Arriving home, I decided to have something to eat, so I attempted to open a package that would require Mr. America to open. I looked for directions, but the print was invisible to my half-shut, blood-shot eyes. Having completed these tasks, thus far, I sat down and turned on the TV. I got, for a reception, “no signal,” so I had to call Comcast, asking a foreign voice what button I press on the remote. I don’t know what he said, so I hung up and pressed all of them and it worked.
I was watching “Judge Judy,” my kinda gal, and an ad came on, telling me to go to my computer and go on their website to buy a product. I thought a website was in the attic where lots of cobwebs are found, or find a dot com, whatever that means?
Yes, this is the typical day many senior citizens have to put up with, and many of them, including yours truly, have not or do not want to keep up with the times or the technology, or maybe we are just old-fashioned and sort of like it that way.
Yup, you’re right, I still like to hear my phone ring, and hear a familiar voice on the other end. I hear they have a device now where you “text” a person, and if they also have the same device, they can “text” you back. Now that can be frightening, don’t you think? By the way my cellphone is so old, it will appear on the “Antiques Road Show” soon. How about that!
Whoops, almost forgot, it’s raking time!!
Ralph J. Ayers of Newburyport calls himself a “local yokel.”