I believe our forefathers had envisioned a society that was good for the “majority,” not solely for each individual. Hence the motto on most of our currency, “E pluribus unum,” which means “out of many, one.”
Subsequently, we have reversed that motto only to find that society has become more instituted to how every-day life affects them on a personal level, not on the grander scale. Americans these days seem to need not to be part of the social parameters that define family and country. They want to be “one” first before they become “many.” Whatever happened to one of the first, if not the very first lesson we grew up understanding, sometimes the hard way, that “majority rules”?
If I were to offer a resolution to the mother and daughter, it would be to address this situation as a family and community, not as one person being singled out because of an extremely unfortunate circumstance.
There must be a mentor somewhere, such as an uncle, a family friend, a neighbor who would gladly donate their time to see that this young lady is not left behind at these rites? If not, how about the Big Brothers and Big Sisters organizations? I’m positive they would be more than willing to lend a hand!
Being an organist and musician in a wedding and function band in the past, I have played at many events over the years and have witnessed several instances where an uncle, a close friend or even a brother gave the bride away in the absence of the father. If nothing else, it did not lessen the loss but more so enhanced the ceremony and the feeling of having that loved one there for you, even if your father could not be.
I would hope next time the mother could reach out for a helping hand instead of resorting to legal action and punishing those who are blessed with having loving and caring parents who spend time with their children in every facet of their transformation into adulthood.
Tim Fowler lives in Newbury.