NewburyportNews.com, Newburyport, MA

Opinion

March 24, 2012

Obama's pipelining his way to November

I had been reading about Obama's calling for new oil pipelines when Big Freddy showed up wearing shorts that stopped somewhere between his knees and ankles.

"Where on earth did you find those?" I asked.

"Made them," Freddy said.

"You made them?" I asked.

"Tailor did," Freddy said. "I tore the right knee putting my pants on. It was 80 degrees outside, so I figured, waste not."

"But why so long?" I asked. "Didn't want to be picked up for indecent exposure maybe?"

"Enough with the pants," Freddy said. "You want to go with the why and wherefores, ask yourself why our president just went all the way to Oklahoma for show time, big-time, by standing next to some oil line pipes to call for building pipelines all the way to the Gulf."

"Because he's been taking heat from the rising prices at the pump," I said.

"Correct," Freddy said. "Way back when the Republican wannabes started their campaign marathon, what we heard day in, day out, was 9-9-9 from Herman Cain. What we're hearing now are predictions of 5-5-5 at the gas pump. That's giving people fits, so all of a sudden, there's Obama out in Oklahoma for a show-and-tell for a new pipeline to the Gulf."

"But he's only going halfway from the major supply," I said. "No way he's going to let them hook up with what's available in Canada because of legitimate environmental concerns."

"There are all kinds of concerns," Freddy said. "Digging anywhere gives environmentalists a bad case of political hives. But it's political crunch time, and Obama has to do what he's got to do."

"But why all this in Oklahoma?" I asked. "That's the middle of what could be the pipeline coming from Canada. That's where all the major supply of oil is, but he put his foot down against it."

Text Only | Photo Reprints

NDN Video
Elephant Pool Party at The Oregon Zoo Must-See! Berry and Fallon Form Human Hamster Wheel Pilot buys pizzas for travelers delayed by storm Klose nets record, Germany rout Brazil 7-1 'Purrmanently Sad Cat' Looks Adorably Sad All the Time Pharrell 'humbled' by success of mega-hit 'Happy' Day After: Brazil Reeling in WC Loss Jennifer Lawrence Facepalms Emma Watson Athletes Bare All for ESPN Magazine's Body Issue Raw: Brazil Fans Leaving Stadium Before Half Andi Dorfman Walks Out During the Rose Ceremony 5 Firework Fails for July 4th Justin Bieber Catches Tom Hanks Getting Down, Showing ‘How We Do It Big shoes to fill for Brazil ahead of Germany clash Man's 'Potato Salad' Plea Takes Off on Kickstarter Joan Rivers Storms Out of Interview Watch: A turtle and dog play ball Yikes! This Jet is Way Too Close Late-Night Highlight: Ben Falcone Screwed Up His Proposal To Melissa McCarthy Jenny and Sherri Talk "View" Departure
Special Features
NRA Waterfront Plans