, Newburyport, MA

December 17, 2012

A Christmas jingle

Newburyport Daily News

---- — To the editor:

Well, it’s that time of year again — shopping, decorating, and caroling.

I thought I’d do some caroling myself — with a twist, of course. My apologies to the original composer of “Jingle Bells,” James Lord Pierpont, for taking liberties with the lyrics and cadence — a foreshadow of possible Christmas futures.

Dashing through downtown,

To escape gridlock

Of the traffic caused,

By the two big blocks

Right on the waterfront,

That was quite a stunt

Good-bye Chapter Ninety-One

Wayes to the water is all done

Oh, Jangled nerves, jangled nerves,

I’ve really had enough

Oh, I wish I had ear plugs

To go in my earmuffs

Jangles nerves, jangled nerves

it’s just too much stuff

oh I wish more folks had stepped up

to call the NRA’s bluff

Honking of the horns,

Lack of social grace

As people fuss and fight

for a parking space

And with the new stores,

Downtown sales are poor

Those who bought the Brooklyn Bridge

Might have to close their doors

(Repeat chorus)

Insulting our IQ’s,

The NRA, that’s who

Rebukes not entertained

They think they’re smarter than you

Still, at their next meeting,

Your concerns do bring

Let them know we’re not a bunch of

Dumb-dumb ding-a-lings

Merry Christmas everybody!

Laurel Allgrove

Member of Committee for an Open Waterfront