PLAISTOW, N.H. — As a child, the sea captured Barry Arnold's imagination. He would return to the seashore to mark life's important moments. But on Sunday night, it was near the shore where his life ended.

Arnold, 25, drowned off Hampton Beach while fishing, leaving his family to mourn and wonder why a young man so full of promise was suddenly swept away from them. They gathered at the family home yesterday afternoon and reflected upon his life.

"God must have had other plans," his mother, Jayne Arnold, said quietly.

Arnold was fishing with best friend Christian Frey, 46, when a large wave hit their 14-foot boat, the Sea Nymph, and hurled them overboard about 7 p.m. Frey, who survived, was picked up by boaters and resuscitated. He was taken to Exeter Hospital for hypothermia and was released yesterday.

Arnold's body was found in 4 feet of water about 10 feet offshore. He was to marry his high school sweetheart, Lauran Balliro, 24, of Danville, in September.

Arnold died near the spot where he proposed to her, said Tim Grams of Sandown, his cousin.

He will be buried beside his father, Robert, who died of brain cancer while Arnold was a student at Timberlane Regional High School.

"Barry took it very hard," Arnold's mother said. "He would get up every single morning, help bathe him and shave him, and get him ready for breakfast," she said. "He was just the best son in the whole world. And he had his whole future before him."

Besides his mother, Arnold leaves a brother, Gary, also of Plaistow, his grandmother, Ida Stachulski, 91, of Haverhill, and aunts and cousins.

"We were four generations of people who spent every summer at the beach from Memorial Day to Labor Day," said his aunt, Gloria Del Grosso of Haverhill.

His extended family, including aunts and cousins, all live in the house together.

"We were like the Waltons," said an another aunt, Irene Frazier of Salisbury. Every night, the house would ring with everyone calling out "good night" to each other.

Every evening after dinner, Arnold, younger brother Gary and cousins Valerie and Joseph Del Grosso would walk to the chapel and water the flowers, said Frazier and another aunt, Carol Scione of Salisbury.

"The priest gave him the key to the church," his mother said. Neighbors would treat the children to candy and ice cream.

That's why the family decided his memorial service will be held at Star of the Sea in Salisbury, the same chapel near the beach house where Arnold used to take care of the garden.

Arrangements, which are incomplete, are being handled by Brookside Chapel in Plaistow. Arnold did not have any burial insurance, his mother said, and she does not know how she will pay for his funeral. In lieu of flowers, people may send donations to help with expenses to the Barry Arnold Fund, P.O. Box 192, Plaistow, N.H. 03865.

Arnold graduated from Timberlane in 2002. Balliro said their relationship began when he was a senior and invited her to the prom.

"I was excited," she said. "We had been friends for a long time."

Balliro knew right away he was her future husband.

"Ohh, it just felt right," she said. "He was my best friend."

Balliro smiled through tears when she remembered the night he proposed. On one of their first dates, they went to the beach in North Hampton.

"That's where he took me to propose," she said. "I knew as soon as I saw where we were going. We were sitting on the wall, looking over the ocean. It was a full moon."

The couple planned a wedding at Maine's York Harbor Inn. Arnold tried on his tuxedo Saturday, Balliro said.

"We were dancing," she said, "pretending we were seeing what we would look like" on their wedding day.

Stacy Sinibaldi, a biology teacher at Timberlane Regional High School, has known Arnold since he was a 15-year-old student.

He was "the salt of the earth," she said, describing Arnold as "polite and respectful." As a young man, he went after his dream and achieved it, only to have it all taken away.

"It's really hit me — to have seen him as a kid, then an adult," she said. "You don't expect these things to happen. To have a dream and do what's necessary to achieve it is a beautiful thing, and to see it end so tragically, so suddenly, is very difficult," she said.

After graduation, Arnold started a landscaping business. When Sinibaldi saw his name on the company truck, she hired him.

"I immediately knew that was the person I wanted to do my lawn work," she said. Arnold not only mowed the lawn but also installed a patio, with walkways and granite steps.

"That was a very large project, not his usual work" she said. "But he was very motivated to learn, and he called in people he needed to help him."

Sinibaldi expected him to drop by with some new shrubbery next weekend.

"I was looking forward to seeing him," she said. "So many people think teachers make their connections with the valedictorians, the star scholars and star students only," she said. "But the regular, salt-of-the-earth kids, they touch your heart, too."

Family members said Arnold was an avid fisherman. He liked to fish off the Isles of Shoals, Grams said. Asked why he was out in the boat that evening, cousin Kim Layman of Raymond said Arnold was having a good day on the water.

"He caught a striper" earlier, she said, and he wanted to keep fishing and see if he could catch more.