Viewpoint: There's a name for my condition

By Courtney Nguyen

Fri, May 16 2008

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For awhile, I thought I was becoming mentally deranged. Countless times, I've had to ask the kids where we are going while speeding down I-95, looking frantically for the coffee that flew off my roof two miles back. At least I have the wherewithal to tell the kids our final destination before we leave the house as I rummage around for my keys.

Then, as I was randomly reading nonsense online pretending to "work," I came across a name for my affliction: momnesia. A cloud lifted from my rusty steel trap mind. I was not alone. I have an actual MEDICAL CONDITION. So there. It's not my fault, and in fact, it is my children's.

Apparently, the strain of pregnancy, childbirth and sleep deprivation make our hormones and brain synapses misfire, sending moms into a downward spiral into near catatonia in the beginning, and finally leaving us in a permanent fog through which we wander the rest of our days, relying on our day planners and children to get us where we need to be.

In my youth, I could remember phone numbers, dentist appointments, and once got an A in a course where I was required to read a passage from a Shakespeare play, be able to name the play, act and scene in which the quote appeared and then explain the relevance to the overall theme of the story. Fat lot of good that skill does me now, when a Meg Cabot novel takes all the mental agility I have to complete.

I was thinking the other day, though, that this momnesia can come in handy. Sure, I rarely know the day or the month any more, but I can forget that just 5 minutes ago I was so annoyed with my kids I briefly considered sending them into foster care for a couple of days.

I forgot the horrors of a colicky newborn long enough to get pregnant again — with twins! From what I can see, some of you out there have forgotten enough to have four or more little blessings. That Duggar woman on TLC is so addled, she has 17 and professes a desire for "just one more." In my weaker moments, I believe I was meant to have a fourth, but so far I have beat it out of myself by periodically bouncing my forehead against the wall. Without momnesia, the whole species would die out.

I have long held the theory that moms lose an IQ point and a vocabulary word each day after giving birth. Now, there's proof. Is this a good thing? Or a bad thing? I don't think it's really either, but since I can't remember my whole point anyway, I guess the whole thing is moot. Just remember, if you can, that you are not alone!

Courtney Nguyen is a correspondent covering Georgetown for The Daily News. She can be reached at courtneynnguyen@hotmail.com.