Voters in Maine took a step backwards when they approved a referendum that stripped LGBT (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender) couples of the right to marry. Earlier in the year, Gov. John Baldacci had signed a new law guaranteeing marriage equality, but proponents of Question 1 succeeded with a nearly identical disinformation campaign that persuaded voters in California to take away the right to marry from gays and lesbians one year ago.

Mainers were told that if Question 1 passed, churches would be forced to perform gay marriages, schools would be forced to teach about homosexuality and somehow the sky would fall and the state would plunge into the deepest, darkest depths of hell. The last part was hyperbole, but we heard all kinds of dire predictions about how marriage equality would ruin Massachusetts. Well, it's been more than five years since the Commonwealth started sanctioning gay marriage and none of those predictions have come to fruition.

Opponents of marriage equality achieved what can best be described as a Pyrrhic victory. They won in Maine, but the celebration will be short-lived. Exit polling revealed that Mainers who opted to roll back civil rights were primarily over-60 voters. This was also true last year in California with voters on Proposition 8.

However, attitudes about one's sexuality have shifted toward a greater degree of acceptance among voters 50 and under. Voters who are under the age of 30 overwhelmingly support marriage equality.

So even if Prop. 8 and Question 1 pass constitutional muster, both risk being undone at the ballot box in the near future. Not only that, supporters of marriage equality are popping up in areas previously thought to be intolerant of homosexuals.

Voters in Salt Lake City recently approved an ordinance that bans discrimination against gays in housing and employment. What is unique about the vote in Salt Lake is that it had the backing of the Mormon Church, which actively campaigned to pass both Prop. 8 and Question 1.

On the other hand, R.I. Gov. Don Carcieri just vetoed a bill that would have allowed partners of same sex couples to plan funerals for their spouses.

What is so maddening about opposition to marriage equality is that it is based on irrational fear of the unknown. We heard all kinds of Chicken Little predictions here in Massachusetts, but none of those things has happened. Moreover, one of the stated principal objections to gay marriage is how it will destroy "traditional" marriage.

The biggest single threat to marriage is divorce. Roughly half of all marriages end in divorce, so why isn't divorce illegal? Next year, Californians will get to decide if they wish to make divorce illegal. Should they vote yes, they would at least be consistent in what they view as a threat to traditional marriage. However, should they reject the Defense of Marriage Act, California voters will paint themselves as massive homophobic hypocrites.

Neither the states nor the federal government should be in the marriage business. Ideally, the United States should adopt a European model concerning marriage. Weddings performed by a justice of the peace in Europe are considered civil unions. Marriages are religious ceremonies. Regardless of whether one chooses a civil union or a marriage, couples enjoy the same rights.

There are as many as 1,100 separate rights and privileges that spouses are entitled to but are not extended to domestic partners in the United States. These range from the right to plan a funeral to the right to file income taxes jointly. States that routinely accept all marriages by heterosexuals are often refusing to divorce gay couples married elsewhere.

In effect, even if a gay couple lives in a state that recognizes marriage equality, they lack those rights should they move to one of the 45 states that does not. Moreover, they have no rights under federal law at all.

I fail to see how a same-sex couple marrying harms anyone else. So why would someone want to harm innocent children because of a misguided and extremely patronizing belief that you are protecting these kids from their own parents? Demonizing gay marriage and making parents the object of scorn and derision harms children. Legalizing and accepting marriage equality strengthens these families. The sooner folks accept this, the sooner we can move forward and start solving more important problems like health care.

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Blogger Dan Kurtz and his wife, Wendy, live in Amesbury.